Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I can't turn off my feet"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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