ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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