I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
