He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize