bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
