I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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