It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
