I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
