Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
