I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
