Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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