You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
