I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
