At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
