i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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