bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize