as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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