I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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