Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
