Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize