i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
