you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The feeling are messing with the penis
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
how drunk are you?
Several
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
