I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can't turn off my feet"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
