A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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