My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
