just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
