I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
