Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
