Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize