I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize