It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
