I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
