Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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