Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize