I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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