i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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