its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think I sprained my soul last night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
