Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
