I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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