there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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