Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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