Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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