I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
