did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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