Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
