East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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