He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
