I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
