Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
