I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
