Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
