ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
