I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This is the high leading the old right now
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
