I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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