Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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