Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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