he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
