I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
