I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
