i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
