a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize