with your own penis?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize