he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize