READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
