I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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