It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
