It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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