I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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